A long, long hiatus -- and not even cause of bad times!
trikey
Hi!

I just realized it's been a long time since I made an actual post here. I've made a couple story posts, but nothing legitimate about how my life is going since my last post in December.

Things are going...rather okay, and maybe even better. Just a couple weeks after that post, I had the most amazingly amazing trip with Gatr! It was a full 16 day trip and, quite honestly, it was nearly perfect. There were a few less-than-perfect moments over the course of the trip, cause that's a long time to spend together so naturally there will be hiccups, but it ended AMAZINGLY and...yeah! I can't say enough good things about the trip.

The end of January and February were honestly pretty good. Reno is still Reno, but I made better of it and there were some really nice moments thrown into those early days of the semester. I felt pretty dang good going into spring break, which I was lucky enough to be able to spend half at home, and the other half with my Gatr. The days at home were great - I ate nicely, got to catch up with all my family back home, and had a lot of fun. The time with Gatr was, much like the previous trip, fantastic. We made a run on the first day of it being one of the best first days of our trips -- though most are pretty good, admittedly!

Right now, back in Reno with just over a month to go. Things are pretty good. Oddly, yesterday was the anniversary of one of the worst days of my life, which I'll try not to go into. I don't feel particularly bad, though. I'm just continuing to push forward, cause I've got a lot of life and a lot of love left. One day at a time, and I always look forward to that next day.

Until next time,

Trike

Another story
trikey
We had to do a piece for my creative writing class recently, and I decided to use one that I had already written (with some obvious minor details being changed to better suit my target audience). I figured I would post the original up here just...because!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  It was a dark and stormy night as the Totodile walked down the road. He’d been abandoned weeks ago, but tonight was particularly bad. He was cold, tired, and hungry. He needed someone to love him. He needed it desperately.

                A trainer named Joe was driving down the same street. He wasn’t having the best night either. He’d just been in a fight with his best friend, and they had basically agreed that they’d be going their separate ways from this day forth. He was hurting, and he needed some love of his own.

                The Totodile kept walking, shivering from the cold. A bolt of lightning struck down nearby. Like most water types, the Totodile had an immense fear of lightning. He whimpered softly, still shivering from the freezing rain. But there was nothing he could do except continue walking down the path of nothingness.

                Joe continued down the road. The rain poured down on his car’s windshield, hindering his visibility greatly. Eventually, it got so bad that he felt like he could not continue on safely, so he stopped his car. Joe leaned his head back and sighed, beginning to cry softly. The previous months had not been easy on him, and tonight had hit him hard. He wanted to escape from it all.

                The Totodile was weaker than ever. He feebly continued walking, but he was getting nowhere. He noticed a ditch ahead and shivered again, this time from fear. The Totodile didn’t know why he had been abandoned, but with no other options, he didn’t know what he could do other than go and lay down in that ditch to die. He kept walking, almost entranced, and didn’t even notice Joe’s car off to the side.

                Joe sat up in his seat. He felt bad, really bad, but he couldn’t very well just sit there and feel sorry for himself forever. Most people Joe knew had a false perception of how strong he was. He didn’t want it to be a false perception, though. He wanted to be stronger for those who cared about him. He started to turn his key in the ignition, but just before he could, something compelled him to look out his side window. He saw the Totodile.

                Joe didn’t hesitate for a second before opening the door and getting out of his car, immediately going up to check on the clearly out-of-place Pokemon. The Totodile noticed the human now, and he began to back away slowly at first. It was natural instinct, after what he had been through. He didn’t know what this human wanted, and he was visibly afraid. It didn’t take the Totodile long to notice that Joe meant no harm, though. There was just something about the human and the Totodile knew that he could trust him almost instantly. Joe continued to stand with his arms open wide, and the fragile Pokemon took little time in running into them.

                The trainer held onto the little Totodile tight, stroking the back of his head softly. He could feel the Pokemon shivering furiously in his arms. “Don’t you have anyone to take care of you, little guy?”, he asked, a deep concern in his voice. The Totodile whimpered and clinged to him tighter, telling Joe all he needed to know. With all he’d been through, Joe still didn’t hesitate in helping one in need. “Do you want to…come with me?”, he asked the Pokemon quietly. The Totodile slowly pulled away from his tight grip on the trainer, looking into Joe’s strong eyes. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and he gripped his short arms around Joe’s neck as best he could. Joe held the Totodile tightly, bringing him back to the car and sitting him in the seat next to him. “You don’t need to worry anymore”, Joe said softly, his voice shaky from emotion, “You’re safe now.”

                Back at home, Joe lay in bed, still exhausted from the night’s adventures. The Totodile, still feeling slightly out of place, lay on the ground several feet away from the bed. Joe was tired and drifting off, but before he could, his head turned slightly and he saw the Totodile sleeping on the floor, cold and alone. “Hey ‘Dile,” Joe said, getting the Pokemon’s attention, “Why don’t you come sleep up here?” The Totodile whimpered again. He’d never been treated like that before. As he timidly made his way to the bed, his little heart couldn’t help but fill with an endless amount of love for this person who had been so kind to him. He got into the bed and curled up next to Joe, exhausted from the past weeks of seclusion. Joe smiled down at him, softly stroking his head. “Who would ever not want a Pokemon like you?”, he whispered. The Totodile whimpered softly and again shed a single tear. He moved up in the bed, letting his head rest against Joe’s. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. As if he could read the Pokemon’s mind, Joe whispered in his ear “You won’t have to be alone anymore now that I’m here.” The Totodile shut his eyes, overwhelmed with joy.

                Months passed, and the Totodile grew stronger and eventually evolved into a Feraligatr. Joe grew stronger too. He had put his past worries behind him and he spent each and every day giving all the love and training he could to his Pokemon. That particular day was bright and sunny. Birds chirped, flowers blossomed, and everything seemed right in the world. Joe and his Feraligatr, who he had affectionately named ‘Tosh’, walked down a road. “Do you remember this road?”, Joe asked his Gatr, fully knowing what the response would be. The Pokemon nodded, a bit of sadness in his eyes. “That was a scary night,” Joe admitted, seeing the concern in the Feraligatr’s eyes, “But look at how far we’ve come since then.” The Feraligatr smiled and growled happily, grabbing onto his trainer with both arms. Joe laughed, putting his arm around his Pokemon as well. “You know,” he said, “I never knew how lucky I was that night, ending up in a place like this…” The Gatr clinged to his trainer even tighter after hearing this, a few tears rolling down his cheek. Joe reached his other hand around and wiped the tears from his Pokemon’s face, lifting up his chin to look into the once-feeble Pokemon’s now strong eyes. “We’ve come a long way since then,” Joe reiterated, “And like I told you that night, you never have to worry about being alone again.” Together, the Pokemon and his trainer walked down the path, feeling safe in the other’s embrace.



A short story
trikey
I wrote this not too long ago and want to do more with it:

  The hall was clogged with bodies; none of them hers, but who could be sure? There was no way he could navigate through this mess of people to find her. Instead, he was stuck at the back, hoping that he would get a sign of her. It was futile, though, and he was ready to give up. As he turned to leave, however, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry honey”, she said, “I got a little lost in there.” He breathed a sigh of relief. Crowds had always bothered him, and seeing his love caught up in that one had scared him more than a little. “That’s okay, sweetie”, he said, turning around, “I was just wor-“ His sentence was cut short as he turned and saw no one there.

            He didn’t think he was crazy, but how had he imagined something so weird? It was something straight out of the movies – the crazy person who hears voices and feels hands that aren’t there. It wasn’t that surprising, though. He always had flashbacks when he came here. It had been years since his love disappeared so suddenly. It had been in a crowd like this one, too. That’s probably why he was so afraid of crowds. The thought of losing something so dear to him had always been terrifying to him, and to have it become a reality all those years ago…it was just tough.

            He walked out of the building and sat down on the front steps, putting his head in his hands. The feeling of uncertainty from the whole situation caused him to have horrifying nightmares every night. Dreams in which he would find her, for a brief moment, and then she would be taken from him again. The pain of having to relive the experience over and over toyed with his sanity. He hallucinated often. Every time he was in a crowd, he examined the bodies, hoping one of them could be that of his love. It was never of any use, though. He simply looked like a crazy person, and perhaps for good reason. The once rock-solid man had become weak over the years. The pain had done a number on him, and it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. He couldn’t get over her, he just couldn’t. That was the first and only girl he had ever loved. Why did life have to be so cruel? He just wanted answers, and after all these years, he was losing all hope of ever getting them.

            He stood up and prepared to leave. As he walked down the steps, he heard the door open behind him. He turned around hopefully, but it was just a group of young men. As they left, joking casually with each other, he saw a bit of his old self in them. It hurt to be such a shell of his former self, but it was something he had adjusted to over the years. No one wanted anything to do with him in this state, and who could blame them? Truth be told, he didn’t really want to have anything to do with anyone, either. It hurt far too much to experience good times, as they just reminded him of the good times he had shared with his love. As little sense as that made, he was willing to live like that. He couldn’t get her out of his mind anyway, but he assumed it hurt less than it would if he was happy and succeeding without her. Besides, deep in his heart he still believed she was out there. If he stopped looking for her to partake in stupid, meaningless ‘fun’, then how devoted was he to their love? He didn’t want to stop for a day. He didn’t even want to stop for a moment. He wanted to continue to spend every waking hour looking for her. She really did deserve it, and no matter where he went in life, he knew that feeling would never change. The man took a couple more steps toward his car and looked back at the door longingly one last time. There was nothing. He turned back, nodded his head acceptingly one last time, and headed home.


More laziness, semester close draws near.
trikey
Well...I sorta had another long hiatus...I'm sorry,


The semester end draws near. It is now officially 4 days until I go home. I am certainly excited, there's no debating that. I miss my family dearly, and it's really just too lonely here. I want to see my family, I want to see my Gatr, I want to just...enjoy some time where I don't have to worry about things. I will undoubtedly worry anyway - next semester is going to be so huge and I'm not sure how well I will be able to handle it. Straight up, I'm very worried. Extremely, extremely worried. My month off is really going to be important, and I hope I use the time well and get to where I need to be by the time I head back to Reno. Honestly, if I don't, I could be in deep, deep trouble.

Truth be told, I'm not sure what could put me in a good position over the break and heading back into school. Even if, say, my personal life hits an all-time high, my academic life will still be extremely challenging. That's all there is to it, really. I'm super scared. To be fair, though, I was scared going into the Spring 2011 semester too, and, well...that was the best semester of my life. Who knows, maybe I'm being pessimistic and Spring 2012 will be just as great. I'd never ignore the possibility. We'll find out together.

Until next time,

Trike

I'm a lazy bum, yes it's true!
trikey
Wow, this is officially the longest hiatus I've ever had between entries. Must get caught up.

When I posted that last thing, life was tough! It was hard, as it always is, and I was struggling. A couple weeks after that, I had a SUPER AMAZING trip at Gatr's for his birthday. It was excellent, the best trip since...our last trip! It was precisely what I needed to relax a bit, enjoy myself, and recharge my batteries for an inevitably tough return to Reno.

The return to Reno was indeed tough. Driving 500 miles away from someone you care so much about in one night is tough. But I did it, and then promptly was thrown back into school. School was sorta okay, but I really decided I did not like my major, and made a plan to switch. Unfortunately, I am still slightly unsure at the moment what I want to do. Maybe it will come to me in time (hopefully not much, though!)

As of right now, things are okay I suppose. I can't really say any particular area of my life is better than 'eh', but that's why you ride the rollercoaster of life. It's a bumpy, long, and sometimes stressful one, but hey -- it's the ride, you've gotta enjoy it the best you can. I'm more optimistic than most. I will continue to be such until I can't be so anymore. You have my word on that!

Until next time,

Trike

Back into the fray
trikey
It is exactly what the title says! We're back here in Reno. On the plus side, there's no Stan. That is a massive plus, and some days, unlike last year, I wake up really feeling ready to kick some butt. On the other hand, it is really lonely. Like, really really really lonely. Stan and his idiot friends were not good company, far from it. But they were company, and I'm not quite sure but I think it may have helped me be slightly less lonely.

Classes are okay and I believe they will continue to be okay, ideally. My Gatr is doing well and prospering, it seems, and that means the world to me, really. He's doing better for me too and we have had some of the best times in awhile as of late. I find myself especially needy in this state, but I am trying to be as little of a burden as possible. I shall keep trying, being a burden is the last thing I need in this situation.

Yep yep. Life goes on. I will keep trying my hardest and hopefully there can be even more good times in the future. Always hoping for the best.

Trike

I love to love you outloud
trikey
Well now! Posting again after only a week and a half! I am so crazy!

I will be quick: this last trip was A-MAZING. Like...EXPECTATIONS BLOWN AWAY TIMES a million. It was...fantastic, yes. I've used all the adjectives I can to describe it. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday especially...three of the best days I've ever had. I could make a strong case for Friday being one of the best days ever. WOWZA they were so goooooood!

Anyway, after I get done geeking out about that...stuff now is rather okay. It is a lot lot lot better than June and July. Some things may possibly be missing, but life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. I leave for Reno in 4 days and school starts in 11. I must be ready. I hope I will be. I'm going to need all the support I can get. Crossing my fingers that I get it, as always.

Until next time,

Trike

Woo, long passage of time!
trikey
Well! A lot has certainly happened since my posting on June 22nd. I had a wonderful 11 day trip with my Gatr from the 24th to the 5th of July. It was super fantastic and leaving was really hard. I had totally been a part of the family for that week and a half and I felt really welcome and cared about and all that sappy stuff that's important. Anywhoodles, after that there was a really rough ~2 week or so period. Really really low, maybe as low as early June. I admit by that point I had kinda grown hardened, so it was more of a "fuck everything" feeling than a 'wow, is this really happening?' feeling like it was in early June. It was rough. The end of July brought some interesting revelations. For a couple day period, I actually thought everything was going to be back to normal. I was hasty in making that assumption, so it was probably my fault. I dunno, the past week and a half has been super duper up and down and up and down and up and doooooown and it's been rough cause I kinda got used to it just being down all the time, haha.

Anyway, right now things are pretty okay. They could be better, perhaps, but they could be a hundred times worse too (I know from experience, heh). I'm not sure if I'm disappointed Summer is ending or happy, but...hopefully I will go into Reno and kick some butt. Before that, though, I've got one last trip with my Gatr. Hope it'll be a great one. Optimistic as always.

Until next time,

Trike

Hmm
trikey
That's really all I can say. I'm not quite sure what else can be said. I got some slightly good news. Well, it's the kind of news that seems good but you really have to wait and see to make sure it's really good. Kinda like "I got into this great college, now I just need to make sure I succeed when I get there". I will see if I can turn the 'good' news into GOOD news. Yep.

I'm doing okay I guess. Not myself. I am exerting all my energy into one thing and am neglecting other friends and family. It is not a good thing but right now, I cannot help it. It's hard, really is.

I have a lot to do these next couple of days before my trip. I have a bad feeling I will spend the time NOT being productive, but I'll try to make a little something of myself. Maybe. I feel very...without a purpose right now in life. Not really something to be heard from someone like me, now is it? People have been asking me "where's the happy ____ (insert whatever nickname/real name you call me here) we used to know!" I'm not too sure. He is there but it's hard for him to show himself these days. Trying my best. Will update soon, perhaps during the trip. Not sure. Take care.

Until next time,

Trike

Not easily defeated
trikey
I don't really know too much of what to say here, but... I guess some questions were sorta answered, for better or worse. I am still not in the best of shape. I still feel underappreciated and underestimated. I am still not myself and it's really hard for me to try and be the 'me' that I KNOW I need to be in this time of struggle. Isn't that toughest part? When you want with all your heart to just break down but you know that you have to be strong in order to keep things from getting worse. Tricky as all hell. But I learned that during my time in Reno, too, so it's nothing too new. I've been writing a little more on my NaNo story too, just cause it gives me a little bit more purpose in life, I suppose. I don't feel all that useful right now, mostly because of the one person who I was really useful to. But... yeah. We'll get there, I guess. I will keep being the best I can be. Maybe even better than that. Surviving, not thriving, but there's hope for that in the future. Maybe. I think so.

Until next time,

Trike

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